As you may know, we struggled with some infertility before God blessed us with this little life. I say 'we' even though really it was my body/hormones that was the cause of the infertility. I'm very open about our experience, much to Steven wanting me to keep a little more quiet, because I feel there is so much stigma attached to infertility. Steven has been such a huge support to me, but I still felt alone because of my inability to become a mother. I wanted other women out there to know what I went through and that they are not alone. I also wanted people to be aware about what you say to other people about having kids. You really don't know everyone's story. So I thought I would share ours.
Steven and I started trying for a baby in September of 2009. I won't go into too many details for you guys out there, but if anyone has any questions on what I share, PLEASE, contact me and I will answer any questions and go into more detail. Natural Family Planning and Fertility Awareness Method are two ways to chart the female cycle and be aware of the best times for conception. After only one month of charting I realized that I had a cycle issue that would prevent us from becoming pregnant. I thought if I gave it a few months it would resolve itself and we would get pregnant right away.
After nine months, I still had this issue and after some research I knew it was caused by a lack in the hormone Progesterone. On a short note, progesterone pretty much tells a female's body not to start her period so that a fertilized egg can implant. I didn't have enough progesterone which meant that any fertilized eggs didn't have enough time to implant so my body wouldn't stop itself from getting my period, hence, no baby. I knew this was the problem and came to the fertility center with my charts and expressed my concerns. It was very frustrating to know what was wrong, but to still have to go through the motions of trying different medicine combos to help regulate my cycle.
Even after visiting the fertility center and starting with medications to help regulate my cycle, I still always wondered if what we were doing was "right." Fertility issues can really put a stressor on a couple, but Steven and I ended up becoming closer than ever. We really put a lot of faith into God and knew that if we were meant to get pregnant we would. Every month I struggled with understanding God's will. I always asked myself if we were going against God's will by going to the fertility center. I constantly wondered, "If God wanted me to be pregnant, He would fix my hormone issues." I tried to compare it to being sick. My body wasn't working correctly and I needed some medicine to help regulate how my body was supposed to work. We weren't doing artificial insemination or IVF, we were just getting medicine so that my hormones could do their job. For nine more months, it was still a lot of experimenting with medications and hormones before we finally got the right combination and became pregnant. *I can go into further detail if anyone has questions about which medicines I was one.* One concern was that even though I became pregnant, my progesterone could still be low and I would need to supplement it throughout the whole pregnancy. God is great though and my own body took over and I haven't needed any hormones or medicines during our pregnancy!
It was really hard to hear about other people's pregnancies and children's births throughout our trying. I wanted to be happy for people because I knew how happy we were going to be when it finally happened. We were lucky that our parents and friends weren't asking us a lot about when we were going to have kids. We didn't feel any pressure from outsiders which made me grateful. I ask all of you to be aware of the questions that you ask people. Whether it be, "When are you getting married?" or "When are you going to have kids?" and more recently, "Did you have that baby yet?" You really don't know peoples' stories.
I still find myself about to be jealous when I hear about someone being pregnant, but then I remember that I'm pregnant. That sounds weird, but when you tried for a year and half it takes time to stop jealous feelings. I have loved every second of my pregnancy because I appreciate all that it took to get to this point. Steven and I are so ready for this baby to be born and we feel extremely blessed. We promise to share pictures as soon as Lil' T decides to come out. Please pray for us and our soon-to-be bigger family.
God bless!
